There's no denying. I am overprotected. Even my friends say that at 23 years old, it's kinda ridiculous that my parents still have to call me and nag me about going home early - especially when I'm with people they know, people who serve in the church with me, people who live just a minute away from our house.
While I constantly make myself believe that this is for my own good, my friends had pointed out something I've long refused to think about. They said that as I continue becoming the 'good' daughter that meets my parents' expectations all the time, I might lose myself in the process.
Well, it's actually happening.
I am working from home and I don't always have the chance to go out and literally have fun with friends. I am not the type of person who loves partying and noise so visiting my friends in their houses unexpectedly for some drinks and catching up has always been my favorite activity whenever I'm free. But since they're also working in the morning, we only get the chance to see each other at night.
And it just really is sad that I have a curfew; and if I don't get back home before the time, I would have to hear comments about how 'ungrateful' and 'heartless' of a daughter I am for not caring about my parents worrying about me.
Believe it or not, I am thankful that they care for me. But really, it's too much.
The thing is I feel so restricted. Everything feels unfair. My mom is never the socializing type so she always hide herself at home. My dad is the opposite. Now the thing is, they're being so ironic everytime. Mom tells us always not to be like her and to socialize but will stop us when we do. Dad fully knows how a simple gathering with friends could take so much time because sometimes, he would go home around 3AM coming from his group's events; yet he wouldn't accept that as a reason when I tell them that.
Really. I am hating that I am overprotected. I've always felt it senseless because if something is bound to happen, then something will happen - no matter how cautious we are. Plus, such kind of restriction is like telling me that they don't trust me; and they constantly have to check that I'm not bringing shame to the family.
I do understand their point. That's why I'm feeling guilty each time I try to insist on what I really want to do. I hate it when they keep on telling me that I'm constantly making them worry, because that's the least thing I want to do to them. I don't want them to worry about me...
Because I don't want to worry about myself too.
Life is too short. God forbids, but I can always die tomorrow. So I want to experience everything I can everyday. I want to live life to the fullest. But how can I if I am overprotected?