Am I Really for Marriage?

Ask me to list down things I wanted to do with my life and you'll notice that the last thing I wish to happen is for me to get married and have a family. I know you'd raise your eyebrow on me thinking that I'm one crazy woman, but I really am convinced that I don't want it. Romance and marriage might really be very beautiful things, but honestly, it's not... to me.

But recently, I just saw myself thinking about different what if's. What if I find someone? What if someone manages to break through my defenses? What if Cupid really make it rain arrows to shoot me? What if... What if... What if I'm really for the married life?

This started actually when I was in church, waiting for the mass to start. I was thinking about other things (okay, I was thinking about EXO's Kris) when suddenly, a mental image of me asking a 'husband' that we buy our own place - because both parties wouldn't want to live with the other's parents - appeared on my thoughts. It made me shudder; but to my despair, it never left since then.

Am I really for marriage?

One boring day, I woke up and miraculously wouldn't want to use the laptop. I then grabbed a 54-year-old self-help book entitled The Art of Living (Copyright: 1958) from my shelf and started reading. Then I came across an article written by Walter R. Humphrey for Fort Worth Press. It was about him, feeling so wonderful because his daughter got married. I can still remember the line that struck me: "It is nice to have a beautiful girl hanging on  your arm, especially when she's your daughter. I knew no one was paying any attention to me, but I beamed just the same." 

That comment basically stuck because it made me realize that perhaps, I don't want to deprive my father of that rare opportunity. I know it was kinda surreal, but that moment, I almost convinced myself that maybe, I really want to get married for my dad. Shocks.

Am I really for marriage?

Just a few days ago, the family was eating lunch together when suddenly, Mom tapped me for attention. "Someone's inviting you to their wedding," she said. It turned out that our 18-year-old neighbor got pregnant and will get wed on my birthday. The conversation ended as my mom knew that I have no plans on going, but I almost gagged on my food when she told me that she wanted grandchildren already. If she's telling me to get pregnant too, I don't want to think anymore. I told her not to expect anything from me but she just told me - and basically insisted - that I should get married. What the fuck.

Am I really for marriage?

I woke up one morning and suddenly picked my phone to read my drafts. I never do that, so I was surprised when I came into my senses. I was reading a quote from Reader's Digest which I have saved there since I don't know when: "Women cannot find peace of mind unless she has experienced sexuality's spiritual significance in the union of a man and a woman." And guess what, peace of mind is one of my major petitions whenever I pray the novenas to Our Lady of Perpetual Help and St. Jude Thaddeus. Wow.

Am I really for marriage?

To be honest, I would want to get married if I can. But you know, a lot of things had happened in the past that greatly affects the way I perceive this aspect of life. Many people would insist that marriage is a lovely thing and romance is a very good thing to experience, but what if... what if... what if it's just not for me?

I'm not closing my heart though. I'm open to the idea of falling in love. But unless someone really is brave and perseverant enough to change my perspectives in life, and would not give up easily (because trust me, I HAVE NEVER MET ANYONE YET WHO WOULD BE WILLING TO DO THAT), my thoughts about this thing called 'romance' and 'marriage' would never cease.

Meycauayan Spots: Our Kitchen

Really. There is not much to go to in Meycauayan, as believed by a lot of people. As it is the closest Bulacan town in Manila, many would just opt to spend a little more time travelling to get to where everyone prefers to go to.

But as I am very lazy when it comes to travelling, I try to find the best spots in my town so I wouldn't have to go far... And one of my most recent finds is OUR KITCHEN, a newly-established Italian restaurant owned by a pair of entrepreneurs (French and Filipino). I think that explains the copy 'where East meets West', yes?

That One Spark of Hope for the Philippines

Maybe it's not bad to admit that I almost lost hope with my country. Thanks to the skyrocketing prices in the market, the incessant crime incidents, the continuous rise of fares and bills, the widespread corruption, and the insolence of most of the people, I have thought of leaving this nation - FOR REAL - for something else. All those issues got into me that there is a constant whirlwind of emotions in my head all the time. To me, it got tiring to be a Filipino; and I though I no longer want to be one.

Being a 22-year old lay person whose key personality lies on the fact that she doesn't want too much negative in her life, what do you expect from me? I stay away from bad vibes but the Philippine society won't let me. Everyday, I wake up to news about how a riding tandem shot a man dead, how another country would bully my country to no end, how the president would ridiculously hit on his critics and corrupt cabinet members everytime he gets the chance in front of the podium, how an actress would forget that she is supposed to be a role model to people because she wouldn't stop acting uneducated on twitter, how the squatters would kill to defend their non-existent rights over pieces of land that were never theirs to begin with, how the activists would ALWAYS find reasons to go to the streets for rallies for the lame reason that they want to be heard, and so on and so forth. Tell me, who wouldn't get tired?


I was so close to really telling myself that I hate being a Filipino; but on the most unlikely place, I realized that I will never have the heart to turn my back on my roots.

Last February, I went to Singapore to watch Super Show 4. It's a concert of Super Junior, a popular Korean group who I've been stanning for almost five years now. Many of you might think it ridiculous; but I went there because there's not going to be one in Manila.

Now let me give you a little background to connect these matters. Fangirls find this indefinable joy whenever their idols mention their country's name. In the case of Super Junior, being referred to as the 'FILIFIN ELF' is enough. However, in Singapore, I didn't hear that; and it made my heart ache when I realized that I would never get to hear that when I'm in a country that's not the Philippines.

Lame and a very funny story, right? But you know, when I came back to the Philippines, I realized my position. I have no choice but to be a Filipino because I AM A FILIPINO. It's not like I can easily get that off my system even when I want to. So why not just accept the fact and turn the tides instead?


One day, I woke up feeling up for some challenge. Maybe, my job as a travel writer had contributed to that. I thought that if I am losing hope on my country, I have to find something that would bring the spark back.

That's when I realized that blogging is the key, and maybe I could help.

Inspired by the Koreans who never fail to market their country with pictures and blogs, I have arrived at a decision that I will do the same. Since I love taking pictures and I am equipped with this little ability to put thoughts into words, I think this plan would somehow make sense.

The Philippines is a beautiful country, environment and culture wise. There are so much to tell about this nation - from the folklores to the possibilities. There are more than 7000 islands to blog about, all of which feature characteristics that set it apart from everything else.

However, the conflict lies on the fact that good marketing is constantly toppled by bad ones. Thanks to the misleading descriptions of reports from other nations, judging travel bans to the country, and the indelible threat of terrorism, my challenge would be painstakingly difficult.

But do I give up? NO.

plan of action

According to Dr. Jose Rizal, the youth is the hope of the country. But is it just the youth? Does this mean that the adults who had grown accustomed to how their forefathers had live are exemptions? What if the young ones become adults too? Are we going to hope for another generation to take care of the role?

I respect my national hero, but I hope to make it clear that the hope of the country is its people. NOT JUST THE YOUTH, not only the adults... EVERYONE. As Filipinos, we are all - irregardless of age - given the responsibility to uplift our nation. To do that, we must find ways (and I mean reasonable and objective ways) to bring the Philippines back to the pedestal. As much as we can, we must focus on the positive aspect of this nation and not dwell on the negative ones.

It's time that we get rid of crab mentality. IT'S SO OVERRATED! We love pointing out the mistake of others, pulling them down all the time; but we never paid attention to our own mud. Geez. I hope that for once, we stop being selfish. That, I believe, is a must.

that one spark of hope

It's never too late for our country. Even though we're in this kind of present condition where everything seemed so hopeless, I believe that we can still find our way towards that economic success. We can still earn the respect of our neighboring countries, particularly the big bully; and draw the nation back to the world map. I believe that we still have the chance to make things right.

I saw that one spark of hope when I opened a link tweeted by Ms. Maria Ressa. It was from It's a report about the economic performance of the country. Although I know nothing about economics, the graphs had made it clear that for the first quarter of 2012, we had a 6.4% growth on the economy. That's second to China (8.1%) and a few steps ahead of Japan (2.8%), South Korea (2.8%) and Singapore (1.6%).

That came from 3.2% (Q3, 2011) and 4.0% (Q4, 2011), mind you.

See? There's still a chance. Even though the government is very much attuned to bringing officials to court for graft and corruption, it's assuring to know that they're still working towards their promise of economic success.

Now, it's time that we do our part. As a fellow Filipino, I challenge you to join me and many others in bringing the Philippines back to where it should be. Let us come hand in hand in making the whole world realize that we are better than what they think we are.

Why should you do that? Because you are a Filipino. That, alone, is a reason enough.