The Secret to Fulfillment

I attended mass this morning. On his sermon, the priest relayed a lot of stories but one thing hit me directly. He said that people could feel a sense of fulfillment if they know that they did things that changed other people's lives. He mentioned something about leaving a legacy, and I was brought to thinking hard.

Have I done anything yet for me to be remembered after I die?

Truth is, I don't know what I have done in the past years of my life. A lot of people have come in and out of my world (as I did to theirs) but have I ever done anything to change the way they see life? Did any of my words manage to affect them so much that they start to become someone better? Did any of my actions served as examples that convinced to be greater than whoever they already are?

I want to think that I did already, even if I'm not really the best person there is in this world. But in case I ended up realizing that I haven't yet...

Then maybe it's about time that I start thinking of what I should do to be someone of great value.

Extended Life

One year ago, I had no idea that God would let me feel how it is to have an extended life. It was the same day, same time, when I met a fateful accident that made me change my view in life.

January 21, 2011.
I was walking on a street with two friends. Much to my curiosity, electricity was cut when we were supposed to celebrate the birthday of another friend. It was also raining hard so I was walking with my umbrella since I don't want to get sick.

Then the unexpected happened. As I was walking on the side of the streets, I was bumped by a motorcycle from behind. The impact was great that my body arched before hitting the floor. Since I was taken off guard, my head hit the concrete floor twice. If not for my right foot pinned down by the motorcycle's front wheel, I would have literally flown upon getting hit.

Then my vision went blank.

The next thing I knew, my friends are already around me and they brought me to the hospital. I couldn't walk for two weeks, and had to literally drag myself to everywhere I needed to go.

It was an excruciating experience, for I really felt useless.

January 21, 2012.
I literally spent the whole day on my room. I excused myself from the family and told them that I am busy working on some articles - which is partly true. I dissed some invites from friends to go out because I feared to leave home.

Yes, the trauma of this day is still haunting me. I do joke about it, but I cannot deny the fact that I do fear this date. However, the fact that my life has been extended to a year already brought me a lot of pleasant realizations about life.

When I was brought home after being treated in the hospital that night, I realized that life really is short. No one knows what will happen next. So all that is left to do is to learn from the past, enjoy the present and look forward to the future. There is no use brooding over yesterday's mistakes. Having fun is all that matters, because there is no assurance that life will not end the following day.

I know I'm being morbid with the thought; but we all just have to consider the truth that we don't own our lives. If God decides to take it back, we have no other choice but to succumb. So it is better to live each day as if it's your last.

Probably, it's the incident that happened a year ago that made me who I am right now. As I constantly tell others, I no longer want to do things planned. I want to act based on my instincts because I trust them enough to know that if I thought of one thing, that is what I really wanted to do.

Some people could call me careless and a happy-go-lucky. But you see, if what I wanted to do turn out to be right, I will be thankful and happy. If it turn otherwise, then I would just have to learn from it and continue living my life. As I've said, there's no use living on mistakes. They're there to serve as motivations - to teach us lessons; not to hinder us from going to where we want to go.

I know I'm sounding so preachy and all, but I guess that's what happens to people whose lives are just extended. I am merely sharing you my experiences so that you no longer have to go through what I went through just for you to realize these things.

Life is so short to be wasted on senseless things, after all. So let's all be happy. =)

The Good Things about Quitting on Cigarettes

I was supposed to go to bed already when I began to contemplate on the past week. Nothing special really happened. My mood was practically down these past few days and only last night did I realize why I’m being like this.

Withdrawal syndrome.

It has been 13 days since I last smoked. Because of severe cough and never-ending colds, I had to take a break from puffing these death sticks. Now that I understand it, it’s definitely difficult when I suddenly stop. My mood gets unpredictable; my mind goes blank.

But you know, I think I’ll prefer it this way. Because I think I have to take advantage of this opportunity to complete shun my cigarette addiction.

My motivations? The good things about quitting on cigs.
  1. It gives my heart literal peace. The first phase of withdrawal naturally makes me restless but I think things will eventually get better. A few weeks to months of struggles would be worth it if I would give my heart a break from sudden palpitations and all threats. Yes to a healthy heart now! ^^
  2. It helps my skin improve. It was just five days since I stopped; but I think I can already see some slight changes on my skin. When I was smoking, I would feel like my skin’s so dry. Now it has gone back to being oily. HAHA. Two evil ends.
  3. It saves me money. With my responsibility towards my family and with my desire to go to wherever I want to go, I need to save money. And if I would keep that 10-peso-a-day budget for 5 sticks of Marlboro light, I would be able to save more or less 300 pesos a month! ^^
  4. It brings me back my self-esteem. Having read a lot of girly blogs, I was quite convinced that cigarette isn’t really a way of being cool. Sure it eases stress but if we think about it, everything about nicotine is a pigment of our endless reasoning – our desire to escape from the enclaves of being proven wrong with our beliefs.
  5. It frees my mind from guilt. In our house, my parents do not know that I smoke. Dad must have had this inkling already but my constant denial would always prevail. So stopping would free me from thinking that I am a disappointment to my parents.
Sure, smoking has some sort of positive effects; but all those things are just temporary. At the end of each day, smoking still kills. Its content, Nicotine, may be known for its medicinal purposes; but anything that’s too much is wrong. And in the case of smoking, it is acceptable not to have it at all.