The Awesome Accident of Coming Across the MONSTAR.

It was by pure accident that I found my newest Korean drama addiction: MONSTAR. Monstar is actually a wordplay for the words 'monster' and 'star'. It is about Yoon Seolchan (Yong Junhyung), a famous idol who had to go to school to clear up his reputation (after accidentally hitting a sasaeng fan). There, he will get close to new transfer and former shepherd from New Zealand Min Seyi (Ha Yeonsoo) and the class president and professional cellist Jung Sunwoo (Kang Haneul). Together, they will battle out the different heartaches of their pasts and face the uncertain future with their love for music as their greatest weapon.

It's a kinda ordinary plot if you ask me, but if you loved High School Musical, Glee, Pitch Perfect, Heartstrings and Suckseed, you would certainly appreciate this. I know the first episode has just been aired as of print time but the charm of the drama is sure similar to the aforementioned shows. Ha Yeonsoo can sing. Ha Yeonsoo can REALLY sing. I don't know if Kang Haneul can really play the cello but as he can play the guitar, I think he has something up his sleeves here.

And Yong Junhyung... To be honest, I am totally weak against this person. I may not be seen really spazzing about him but Junhyung is Junhyung and he is one of the few KPOP artists who I really look up to. I love his music preferences which I know will eventually come out on this drama.

And I love his guts! I love the way he acts! Seeing him acting feels like seeing the real Yong Junhyun himself. Even Haneul said that the two persons are the same. The first episode hasn't finished yet but I knew it's gonna be a favorite because of his acting abilities. Suddenly, I felt reminded of Kang Minhyuk's acting on Heartstrings. I told myself that he deserves an award for it. It is still early to say the same for Junhyung but I have this great instinct that I'm gonna say that soon. 

Guys, Monstar is a really nice drama to which we will all be able to relate to. I know it's kinda weird to say this but I hope (though I'm a bit sure) that it's gonna be the next big thing. MNET Music was really awesome to have produced it and I wish the interest the drama managed to instill on me on the first episode will stick until the end. 

So watch Monstar, okay? If you want to be cool, you would. *winks*

Tol, Bumoto Ka.

Sa Mayo 13, eleksyon na naman. Ibig sabihin, dadating na naman ang ating pagkakataon para baguhin ang takbo ng Pilipinas. Mabibigyan na naman tayo ng isang boto, isang boses, para maiupo ang mga taong may tunay na kakayanan para mapaunlad pa ang bansa. Seryosong bagay ang pagboto sa halalan, kaya nakakalungkot na maraming kabataan ang hindi sumeseryoso dito. 

Gasgas man pero gusto ko pa ring gamitin ang sinabi ni Rizal na 'kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.' Kabataan ako at naniniwala akong nasa atin ang desisyon para maging tama ang lahat. Mas kritikal kasi tayo. Mas hindi agad naniniwala. Mas rebelde ang pag-iisip. Mas may kakayanan na sumunod sa kung ano mang gusto natin talagang gawin. 

Sa mga ganitong panahon, mas alam natin kung sino ang dapat na nasa pwesto.

Gut feeling siguro ang dahilan. Mas matinik ang pakiramdam nating mga kabataan eh. Dahil sabi nga ni Bob Ong, lahat tayo ay nasa panahon na lahat eh pinagduduhan. Marami tayong tanong na kailangan munang masagot bago tayo magtiwala. Marami tayong kailangang pruweba bago tayo maniwala. Marami tayong requirements na kailangan maipasa bago natin sabihing 'okay' ang isang bagay. Sa unang tingin, hindi ganoon kaganda ang dating ng katotohanan na `to, pero pagdating sa pagboto, ito ata ang pinakamabuting bagay.

Ibig sabihin, hindi tayo madaling maloloko.

Bilang kabataan, tungkulin natin na makiparte sa mga usaping pambansa. Dadating kasi ang panahon na henerasyon na natin ang papalit sa mga nagpapatakbo ng lipunan natin ngayon, at ayokong lumingon sa mga susunod na kabataan habang sinasabihan na wala tayong nagawa para sa kanila. Bilang isang tao, ayokong ibigay sa kanila ang bigat ng responsibilidad ng pagbabago. Ito ang nangyari dati kaya nasa atin ang responsibilidad ngayon. Kaya na naman nating baguhin eh, bakit hindi pa gawin?

Sawang sawa na ko sa ganitong lagay ng bansa; at alam ko kayo rin. Kung hindi magagawa ng mas matatanda sa atin na pagandahin ang Pilipinas para sa ating mga kabataan, eh di tayo na lang ang gumawa para sa sarili natin. Huwag tayong magpaapekto sa ideyang 'bata lang tayo, wala tayong alam'. Pakana lang `yon ng ibang takot sa tunay na lakas ng kabataan. Alam natin ang dapat gawin at kaya nating gawin yon. Tamad lang talaga tayo minsan. 

Kaya tol, bumoto ka. Kahit isang araw lang, pumila ka at makihalubilo sa mga tao. Kahit sinasabi ng iba na 'isang boto ka lang', pangatawanan mo pa rin. Magkaroon ka ng pakialam sa bansa mo. Magkaroon ka ng pakialam sa pagiging tao mo. 

Dahil bukod sa isa kang kabataan, isa kang Pilipino. 

A Fan Girl's Sad Life

If you are a KPOP fan, you might have passed through this crack chat in Tumblr already. When I first read it, I thought it was the funniest thing. The 'what' part really got me and it took me quite a few hours to get over it. But after repeatedly coming across it and since I am endowed with the great tendency to over-think things, I realized that this is not just a simple joke.

It's the sad reality of being a KPOP fangirl.

How we come to be this serious in our addiction, I can't really justify. We can always say that we love our oppars because they changed our lives - and then we all will stop there. Honestly, how can we point out to others how we feel? Words aren't really enough to explain it all. As I've said before, one has to be in this world to understand the nature of KPOP fans. 

Nonetheless, we make obvious our undying love to our idols. Aside from spending ridiculous amount of money on albums, merchandises, concerts, fan supports, and gifts, we also put them on pedestal and look up to them as great inspirations. While many can handle the fact that it will always be a one-sided love, some go way past the boundary line. 

They are often called 'delusional', something which can compare to 'Mudbloods' in Hogwarts. But we all have been delusional at one point of our lives as KPOP fangirls. All of us have been - or are still - the 'ME' in the conversation. It's a sad thing, especially because everything there is true.

Non-KPOP fans would never understand, and we will constantly be judged. They'll say it's crazy and pointless; but then what makes sense? Though engaged in a one-sided love, I am proud to say that most KPOP fangirls at least know and experienced it unconditionally. We do not assume. We do not expect. We stay patient. We keep promises. We are contented with simple attention.

Come on. Isn't that what's love supposed to be?

Sure, KPOP fangirling may seem like a joke to many people. Sometimes, it is to us too. But then, I hope people would stop the prejudice that we're crazy and all we do is have fun and make jokes like this. Because you know, it can be very sad being like this. 

Only, it's worth it.

Patience 2.0

May has begun and obviously, I haven't named it yet. Well, I did. It is actually PATIENCE 2.0, and obviously, it is an extension to learn the virtue I was supposed to master last month.

April was really nice to me but due to some circumstances, I could not prolong my patience - particularly with my internet service provider.

If you are to see my Twitter timeline (@kyutoes) for the past month, you would either be amused or annoyed at how I ranted against Globe Tattoo Broadband. Why won't I? I haven't been with them for a month and all I got was a fucked-up and consistently interrupter (if not dead) internet and landline connections. I so wanted to terminate it already because Sun Broadband was actually way more reliable but they told me I have to pay twice my monthly bill as termination fee. They said I'll be breaching the contra°ct declaring a 2-year holding period. Well, they should have known that they were the first one to breach it by not giving me PROPER service.

Oh, but no clause in the contract states they have to give me PROPER connections. They will just give me... connections. Get it?

There were several technicians who came here. All of them saying the poor connection is due to the wrongdoings of the installers. All of them actually gave up and referred me to the cablers. It is just the last one who actually managed to explain to me what the actual problem is. Too bad, I wasn't able to get his name.

At the moment, I am enjoying stable connections. Probably, they have already installed my lines properly - to where it is supposed to be; and I am grateful. Hopefully, we don't go back to the same old problem anymore because I wouldn't know what to do anymore if that happens.

That problem with my connections really pushed me to my limit because I never really appreciate failed services, especially if I pay on time. Plus, I would take no bullshits if my work is jeopardized. But now that my problem is resolved (HOPEFULLY!), I intend to go back to my training with patience.

I don't want to compromise anymore. I really want to learn how to hold my anger in all the time. I've started reading a book about grace and patience is mandatory.

I better start and accomplish it this month.

Mahal na Poong Nazareno, Ipanalangin Mo Kami.

On the 26th of April, I was surprised to know that the replica of the miraculous Jesus of Nazarene had arrived at the Parish of St. Francis of Assisi. It still took me by surprise, in spite of the repeated announcement about it for the past two weeks. Perhaps, I really just feel so unprepared whenever something this big come to us.

To be honest, I feel lucky. The fact that the image visited my parish made me feel special as a parishioner. Although I am not really a devotee of the Black Nazarene in Quiapo, it felt flattering that He was the one who visited me, us, in Meycauayan.

I couldn't make it on the first night so I went there at Saturday with Luwi. Upon seeing it enthroned in the altar of the church, I became prouder than ever. As I get close, I just thought that I want to pray. I need to pray. 

So I did.

I don't know if I should thank the stubborn kid who kept on selling me handkerchiefs or not, because if it wasn't for him, I would have gone crying as I whisper my prayers. I had nothing in mind there but for me to be okay. The pain has taken its toll obviously. I need a miracle to get over it.

And I think He is now answering my prayers.

Maraming salamat, Mahal na Poong Nazareno. 
Maawa Ka sa amin.

다시 돌아오지마라...

I was walking around the mall this afternoon, taking pleasure on the fact that I get to enjoy a holiday in a normal way, when I passed by the bookstore. It is a typical stop for me whenever I'm there. Books are like a staple in my life and I always go to that store for a sense of comfort. However, that wasn't exactly found what I was there a while ago. 

When I saw a book on the stands, I honestly felt fear - like I don't want to see it. It's as if  there's an invisible force forcing me to look at it again but I just can't. 

Then I realized that it must have been happening again...

You see, people have different ways to move on. Perhaps, my heart can no longer decide that my mind decided to take action. I have always prayed to God that He takes my free will so that I can only do what He wants me to do. I don't want to put up a fight, insisting on what I wanted anymore. 

So this happens. 

I've been through this once so I know what to expect. Believe me, refusing to see that book is just the beginning. I can't even stomach seeing his SNS accounts anymore. Hopefully, talking about him, hearing about him, and seeing him will come next.

It's amazing how one's mind can be. It has easily overruled my heart, and to that I feel grateful. It's the best thing to ever happen to me in the past four years. I know it's kinda scary being this way again - with my safety turned on once more - but I honestly would accept anything to free me from this lasting pain. 

Even if it means totally turning back against love again.