The month of FAITH has been tough. The sacrifices from December carried over to January and it drove me half-mad. Perhaps, fate intended me to really name my first month as such because it indeed tested me. Luckily, I have managed to work on my faith in God, myself, and others.
There are a lot of things I have learned. But let me summarize it in three sentences:
- Just let God's will be done.
- The trust I put in myself is the most integral basis of my personality.
- I need to have faith in other people because friends are often way better than family.
Now, February has come; and I decided to name it 'RESTART'. I'm going back to square one. I'm going to start again from scratch. I'm going to begin anew - fully equipped with the long-lost faith I've managed to regain on January.
Perhaps, it's quite a drastic decision to restart my life. However, it's better done today than later. Today, I have less things to change than if I do it next month. Things will be easier.
I don't know how to begin this, to be honest. I just want to work on rebuilding relationships with people I have set aside for the past years. I have to work on regaining the trusts of those I intend to make parts of my life forever. There aren't many. I guess this will not be that much of a difficult task.
Most importantly, I want to restart myself. It's never too late to change and I just want to begin now. I need to change a lot of things in my life and I want to be someone new. This will surely take a lot of moving on - and that's basically what I dread the most - but if I'm not gonna leave the past and move on to the present and future, where would I find myself soon?
Restarting my life doesn't mean chucking out everything I've held dear to me for the past years. Restarting may mean working on a new and better relationships with them, and pruning off the bad and hurtful memories in my world.
I'm gonna own February as well. Things will be okay. I'll be starting again.