It was turning eleven in the evening, you yawned as you stretched your arms up to somehow wake you up. Your eyes were beginning to twitch in drowsiness. You haven’t had enough sleep for the last few days and you have no clear reason why. But perhaps you do, only you wouldn’t accept it to be true.You were thinking of Luhan – all things he do, all places he go to, all persons he meets. He practically owns your reverie 24/7 and there was nothing you can do but sigh in frustration that nothing will ever be the same again.It has been two weeks since the both of you stopped talking. You were trying to find comfort because your grandmother who was then in the ICU turned critical. He was the only person you knew you could count on, and asked him to come over to see you. But unexpectedly, Luhan got annoyed since he had just gotten home from work. Worse, he called you burdensome and rejected all your calls. You felt your world shattered.
Since then, you decided to quit on your illusions. You finally began to force yourself to shun from everything that concerns the person you’ve loved for the past four years. You finally believed that whatever you’ve shared will remain in vain because although you can be friends, you’ll never be lovers – because he’ll never fall for you.You gripped tighter on your phone as you slumped on your bedroom couch. You’ve especially positioned it to be in front of your large window so you can see the stars at night. The wind blew cold, making you feel emptier – if it’s even possible. You shivered lightly, yet your thoughts remain on what would probably happen.
The phone on your hands felt heavy as you leaned on the arm rest of your seat. You brought your feet up so you’ll be on a lying position – your eyes still focused on the stunning constellations. Suddenly, you felt your heart constricting as your lips trembled lightly. Your eyes pooled with tears and you tried hard to fight it back.But of course, you were too weak. And so it fell.It was one of the nights when you just feel like nothing’s gone right. Four years, you’ve spent proving yourself and your love to Luhan but in the end, you’re still out of his league. How would a typical writer be the perfect match for a senior business analyst? You know it’s wrong to base love on that; but then that just depresses you more since it leads to another fact that a bubbly and careless personality can be detestable in the eyes of a purely logical and straight-living individual.Plus, you think you’re not beautiful. You’re not the only one who says that. So you constantly blame yourself of what had happened. If only you didn’t demand; if only you didn’t ask; if only you didn’t complain…
Things could have been okay.But it didn't. And it hurt you so much.You glanced at your phone and then immediately stared back to the stars. Your mind was filled with apprehensions because you know you want to do something as the clock strikes 12MN. It was already quarter past eleven. After a few minutes of ambiguity, you decided to push through with the plan. Come what may, you told yourself.You sat up and began typing on your phone a sentence that took you quite a longer time to construct. Happy Valentine’s Day, Luhan, it said. You were sure of the number because he had just called you a few days ago to ask about how to choose a good tripod for his camera. Since then, you’ve been sending him messages which he would either not read or disregard.
A deep sigh echoed on your room as you pressed the send button. The screen showed images informing you that the message had been sent. You looked at the digital clock on the upper right corner of your phone screen. It was exactly 12MN.You fervently prayed that he’s still awake although that’s a little impossible since he’s never the type to stay up late when there’s work the next day. And February 14 this year is a Thursday so you know the drill. You decided to just go to your bed, sleep, and wait for a reply the next day. Hopefully, there’d be one.
But just before you close your eyes for slumber, your phone beeped. You eagerly got it from your headboard shelf and your heart began thumping crazily as you saw Luhan’s name flashing on your display screen.It is easy to say that you were elated. At once, hundreds of images rushed through your head – feeding you with imaginations of the sweet things he would say. Although you pretty much expect that it’s just going to be a ‘Happy Valentine’s Day to you too,” you unconsciously hoped for something else – like an invitation to a date.You covered the screen with your fingers as you opened the message. Your smiles were incontrollable and your heart thumped faster. Somehow, you’re afraid of the reply. A part of you really doesn’t want to read it.
Alas, you had to remove the cover and read it. Upon seeing, you felt like your breathing hitched as your hands turned numb. Your phone then slipped, and fell to the wooden floor of your room. With eyes suddenly brimming with tears to match the excruciating pain in the region of your heart, you peeked on the phone and hoped that you’ve just misread the message from him.But nothing changed. It was still it; and it still hurts – so much – that you decided to never push your luck again. Questions flooded your mind as pain enveloped your heart – all because of one reply, one question, from Luhan."Who are you?”How will you be able to respond to that?
Happy Valentines' Day, guys! I hope you'll have the nicest ones. =)