Excuse my lack of updates as I just went through a real rollercoaster ride. After a week and a half of fused excitement, annoyance and pressure due to the Grand Sagala organized by the Parish Commission on Youth, my grandmother died after a very long fight against her multiple diseases. But despite the consistent challenges, I have stuck close to my resolve. I have practiced patience for May.
It wasn’t really an easy task; but it was a mandatory action. I needed to learn how to extend my patience every time because it prepares me to the next virtue which I want to learn: Grace.
Months ago, I bought a book entitled ‘Grace’ from Nancy Mair. It talks about how women should be. It does not tell stories to teach how to please others by being graceful. It talks about being graceful to please one’s own self.
As I have been wanting to feel pleased about myself, I realized that I need to take the challenge into a higher level now. I have managed to train my patience, and so I’m moving on to testing my gracefulness. It is not a secret that I am boisterous and very tactless. I can be very clumsy and unsophisticated.
And I am tired of being looked down on just because I don’t act much like a woman.
So naming June as Grace is something to look forward to for me. I have been an ugly duckling for the longest time of my life. Will I ever transform to the ‘beautiful swan’ that others (particularly Luwi, Tina and Vhik) would want me to be? How?
This would really require help from my friends. But I already have a mental list of what I needed to discard in my lifestyle; as well as the things I need to start living with. It’s gonna be difficult – withdrawal syndromes on everything. But plans were laid quite convincingly. Hopefully, I can get by.
June is my birthday month. There’s probably no best thing to gift myself with than this.