I have been through a pretty rough ride during the past few months. My grandmother died; there are several problems within the family; and I am pretty much done with the idea of love. But just when I thought that there's no end to it, I woke up one morning and suddenly felt like I've started anew. And when I realized what day that was, I smiled and thought myself:
"Hey Angel, happy birthday."
Turning 24 last June 23rd generated a mix of emotions within me. I believe I had the 'quarter life crisis' a year early so I have been boggling myself about what to do with my life; and now that I have turned 24, I want to believe that I'm seeing the light. Suddenly, ideas dawned to me on how to improve myself. It's like a 'Eureka' moment. Little by little, I know I'm finally figuring out what to live for.
But while I am still trying to decipher the plans life has for me, I just want to dwell on the feeling of gratefulness towards the people who had stuck with me for years - keeping up with my moodswings and tactlessness. There are a lot (spearheaded by my best friend, Vhik) of them and I am really so sorry if I sometimes overlook their worth; but although I won't drop anymore names here, I know they know who they are and I just want to tell them that I will never feel sorry for not having as much friends as other people would want to have. It's enough for me to have them in my life, because quality is much more important than quantity.
At this point in time, it is still quite difficult to believe that I'm 24. I thought I'm gonna stick with being 23 forever; but then life goes on and people age. But that doesn't necessarily mean, we have to grow old. As how many would say, age is just a number and staying young is entirely up to a person.
Obviously, I choose to stay young. And in my desire to do that, I need to stay happy.
The question is 'How?'
I am a very emphatic person. I tend to always put myself in the shoes of others. I am a living sponge. That's why I need to stay away from the bad vibes. Chances are, I just absorb the negative emotions from people that is why I always become sad, infuriated, and all. I am naturally a happy person but that gets defied because of my strong empathy.
There is no way I could stay away from this nature; but I can always stay away from the outside factors. Therefore, I have realized on my 24th birthday that for me to be truly happy, I have to stay away from the bad vibes - and that includes events and people.
I have decided to make myself the top priority. For the past months, I have been through a rough ride in life and as my friend told me, it's time to focus on my happiness. I guess so too. And so I'm starting.
And I hope that all those I have chosen to include in my life will stick with me until the end. It's not gonna be easy, of course. But with this new-found realization, I promise you we'll have fun.