Goodbye Luhan... I Love You.

After less than just three months of giving me joy, excitement, love and comfort, Luhan passed away just a few minutes ago. I am actually shaking at the moment. He's my most favorite puppy (hence, the name) among Chichi and Skippy's babies and he died because of Distemper and Parvo viruses.

I can't stop myself from sobbing right now. It was very heart-wrecking seeing him in that state for just three days. His health deteriorated rapidly, not giving me a chance to prepare myself. His convulsive seizures was the most painful to see, and what's worse was I couldn't do anything. We brought him to the veterinarian for vaccination in an attempt to somehow control the virus, but it was all too late. It affected his brain to the point that he's crying because of the pain...

And then he succumbed.

When the seizures won't stop and he started pooping and peeing unconsciously, I was convinced that he's gonna leave. And then one thing just came to my mind: I CAN'T LEAVE HIS SIDE. 

Way way back before I even got Chichi, I came across this picture of a blog post saying that when our dogs are dying, we shouldn't leave their side. They've entrusted and offered their whole lives to us as their masters and the last thing we could do is to let them feel that we appreciate them up to the last moments. In Luhan's case, he was with me for barely three months only; but he had been a constant comfort. 

He loved me like family. And I know.

I know it irks some people whenever I act like this. To them, it's crazy that I treat dogs like human beings - to the point that I have chosen to spend the rest of my life with them, than with a husband. But you know what? They are like humans. They can feel. They can understand. 

And I have proven that.

As we stuck with him as he was dying, my brother showed him a video of his siblings taken from the house of their new master. I can tell he was looking at it. I can tell he was watching at it. And somehow, it makes me feel better that at least, he got to see his siblings before he left.

And you know what proves me most that they're just like human?

Luhan listened to me.

During the past three days, I can tell Luhan was fighting - because I constantly tell him not to leave. Even my mom tells him everyday, as she caresses him to sleep, that he should fight because she doesn't want him to leave. 

And believe it or not, Luhan did. Even the veterinarian said that he was lucky to have reached such kind of state despite all the sufferings. He wouldn't have lasted three days if he didn't fight. 

But when I saw him suffering already as the seizures won't stop, I told him to just give up... that we're all gonna be okay. And you know what? After a few minutes, he stopped breathing. His eyes were still open and I couldn't stop crying. I touched his body which rapidly gone stiff and cold. 

And then I left, no longer able to take the sight of my baby lying lifelessly in the carpet. As I went upstairs, I mumbled a little prayer to St. Francis at St. Roque, thanking them - despite the pain - for ending Luhan's sufferings already. 

No matter how much people think that I'm crazy for loving dogs so much, I don't care; because after all, dogs give me more happiness than any human being could. Because my dogs, until their last breath, will love me with all their hearts.

And no other person could do that.

1 comment:

  1. Hugs~ Luhan is blessed to have your family and you by his side.