Do Cheaters Deserve Second Chances?

So there had been this fairly huge drama that had happened a while ago at our house. My cousin, who was cheated by her husband was here. The man was also here. My dad acted as a bridge, with hope to settle things between the two. But my cousin was adamant (thankfully!) not to get back with the person. And I can't help but abhor him, for hurting my ate; and I can't help but hate his father for trying to cover up for the 'mistakes' of his son.

Here's a summary: My cousin got pregnant and being a 'responsible man' that he made us believe that he was, the person married her. Prior to the marriage, this man was in a relationship with a girl for three years already; but he said everything has ended between them. And so the marriage happened. Unknown to us, for the past two years, a lot of problems had been happening between the couple. For numerous times, the guy won't come home, saying he's staying in his parents' house. Whenever my cousin calls her in-laws, the parents will say their son is already sleeping. It is only just recently that she discovered that whenever she thinks that her husband's at their own home, he would actually be in the girl's house - and his parents knew that.

Last week, my cousin was tipped off by someone that her husband was in the house of the woman. With her brother, she went there and she discovered that he was, in fact, there. But much to her dismay, her so-called husband didn't come out to meet him, afraid that her brother would physically hurt him. Such a fucking coward, if you ask me. 

Now, my cousin and her children left their old house. And the fucker came to my father for help.I heard the alibis, but nothing sounded convincing. Nevertheless, the meeting a while ago was arranged.

I tell you, it was so annoying the whole time he was pretending to cry, pleading for forgiveness. He was such a liar that his statements are so coherent. First, he admitted he was wrong; and then he would deny it. When my cousin brought out her evidences, he even denied that he didn't know the girl, considering that he was all smiles in their anniversary pictures. 

My blood boils even just the thought of it. Especially when I remember how easy the girl looked in those photos.

I know I'm just a cousin and I am not in the position to react this way. But how to not hate on cheaters? How to not see the worst side of it? 

Even if it's not my cousin, I would still hate on him. He was cornered already, and yet he's still finding his way out through lies. He was treating us all like idiots, to what? To save his and his family's face. My cousin was firm on her decision not to get back with that fucker. I told her I won't talk to her anymore if her decision changes.

My mother was furious at me for such statement. She told me to be an instrument for peace and the man should be forgiven. Sure, when time comes, he will be forgiven. He deserves that at least as a person. But does he deserve a second chance? 


There's no excuse for cheating, because there is a lot of ways to avoid that. If there's a problem between a couple, talk about it and settle things. If talking doesn't work, then end things properly. Relationship, especially marital, problems aren't reasons to do this kind of fuckery. There is simply no excuses when one decides to be a bastard and cheat on his/her partner. That's pure disrespect towards the dignity of the other. It's a crime. 

I know men are born polygamous; but there's a limit to that. Women can accept if their men would look at others girls, but if it starts to hurt, that's where everything goes wrong. Worse, if it already hurts and the guy still won't stop, that's the torturous part. 

Cheating isn't a mistake caused by temptation. Maybe, at first, yes. But if it gets repetitive, it becomes a choice; and that's what disgusts me. A man choosing to hurt his partner is something I will never ever let pass. 

Because you know, the pain of being cheated on hurts like hell. 

Here's why:

When a girl is cheated on, she feels hate at first. But eventually, it turns into something more serious. She begins to hate herself. 

What guys don't know about the psychological effect of their cheating is that it often challenges the girls' self-esteems. It makes us think that we're not beautiful, or sexy, or rich, or just good enough that our partner had to look for someone else. We try to look within us what our mistakes had been, and then even though it's not right, the weaker ones among us end up blaming themselves for what had happened. 

Worse, the victims would develop a strong fear for trusting others. That's the scariest of all, because not many have the idea of how difficult to live life doubting everyone.

Believe me. Cheating doesn't just ruin a relationship. It ruins a life, a future. It wounds its victim deep, and scars will remain producing so much fear. 


Call me biased or whatever; but I honestly think that cheating is just like Pringles. Once you pop, you can't stop. That's why I don't think this kind of people deserves second chances. Because there's no more assurance, and that's one important thing to keep a relationship alive. 

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