Fearing the Possibility

So at the moment, my heart is in despair. Three of my dogs (Chichi, Skippy and Luhan) are in a critical condition after contracting Parvo and Distemper viruses. Chichi and Skippy are both adults already so their immune system are kinda stronger although I know they're really suffering...

But Luhan... Luhan is just a three-month old puppy. He's my favorite among the two other dogs' pups. I made that obvious when I gave him that name. Luhan is my most favorite member of EXO and I promised that if I have a new dog, I'll be using his name.

But now, my Luhan is dying.

I'm trying to hold in my tears as I type this. It hurts my heart to know that I'm this (-) close to losing my puppy. His immune system is rapidly deteriorating and I can't do anything. It pains me so much that I can't do anything. Even the veterinarian admitted that there's a small chance that he'll survive... as well as my two other babies.

Now, I know most of you are kinda looking at me like I'm one silly person who would cry over dogs. But for someone so admittedly lonely like I am, it's like losing a part of me. My heart slowly and painfully deteriorates too, whenever I see them, especially Luhan, suffering from seizures and convulsions. I'm suffering too.

My dogs are my best, best friends. They're my most favorite companions because to be honest, they're much more sensitive than any other human being I know. Whenever I'm sad, they'll come to me and lick my legs and just jump in glee. They're ready to provide all the comfort they can give their master, without me asking for it. They don't ask. They don't complain. They just love.

And they know love better than any human being.

And now that they're terminally ill, I fear. I've witnessed enough deaths this year, and I don't want three more. I know saying goodbye would be inevitable, but I think now's too early... especially for Luhan. I know there's still Kai but those three other dogs are special to me too.

How despaired will I be if they leave?

St. Francis of Assisi, St. Roque... Please pray for us. :'(

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