It's Never Too Dark

DAY 1 / August 7

It was 4AM. I was awakened by the strong pouring of the rain on the roof beside my window. I felt really uncomfortable so I jumped out of bed and took a glimpse of the situation outside. There was no lights on but I could totally distinguish the unusual water level. It has gone deeper.

Flood level around 10AM, August 7

At first, we were in-denial. We even got to watch the live coverage of the Olympics and I was able to go online and found out that James Lee replied to me. However, the rain poured harder and my gut feeling that we will be flooded prevailed.

Soon enough, the water level increased and the next thing I knew, our house was once again submerged in water. It was Ondoy 2.0. Worse, though.

My lola

What we did first was to bring my 86-year-old grandmother upstairs. We then moved to secure the refrigerator and other things which may be reached by water. It was pure panic, I tell you.

As the water level gets higher, I kept on praying. I couldn’t stop crying either. I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by fear. My paranoia was killing me. It’s currently 2012 and December is fast approaching. What if it’s the end of the world already? I don’t want to die yet.

Chest-deep.

Such thought ran on my mind that I really was shaking. I couldn’t sleep nor eat properly. Even though we have our dad with us this time, I can’t help but still worry. My phone’s battery was running out. I couldn’t work because aside from the fact that we don’t have electricity, Sun network’s services were dumb (more to this soon!) so I couldn’t connect to the internet. The rain was continuously pouring hard.

Although I know some had it worse, I was starting to feel devastated.

DAY 2 / August 8

The situation began to improve. The water subsided from being chest-deep to leg-leveled. With my brother, we were able to go to our neighboring barangay to buy groceries. They weren’t affected. Much to my envy.

I could have felt good though. But my friend who was updating me about the weather said that heavy rains shall fall over our area again. True enough, it started raining. Come late evening, the water began to rise again.

Shivering with fear, I started praying once more. For the first time, I felt like my faith was wavering. I started thinking that God does not listen because He was too mad. I kept on thinking that nobody hears me.

outside.

But I continued praying, and suddenly, a strong sense of guilt washed through me. It felt like someone whispered: “My child, why are you doubting Me?”

I cried when I realized how little my faith was. I cried at how stubborn I have always been. Why do I fear when I should know that God has His plans and I am kept safe in His loving embrace?

That moment, I admitted to myself that I am still lacking. But I’m willing to learn and exert more effort to become a better daughter to Him. So I prayed to Mama Mary to help me strengthen my faith.

And you know what? I somehow got to sleep soundly that night.

DAY 3 / August 9

The morning was very scary because rain clouds continued to hover above (probably) the whole of NCR, Region 3 and Region 4. The water level started rising again, much to my fear.

But perhaps, God was watching me intently because after I whispered a prayer and prayed the rosary, I felt at ease.

I wanted to see the situation in Meycauayan so I went with Daddy in finding an operating drinking water station. But even in Calvario, there was none. A family friend then told us to go to Malhacan because there, we would also be able to charge our phones.

the first sunlight in three days.

While we were there, the sun shone and the skies turned blue. That’s when I knew that things are finally getting better. The fear had finally subsided.

We went back to our house and though there was still flood, the level was starting to decrease. After a few hours, our kitchen and living room are no longer submerged in water. Dad cleaned the mud left by the flood and that night, we prayed the rosary as a family – something we haven’t done in a while.

We just had our house renovated,
and this happened. :(

That night, my bestfriend called me to ask about our situation. For the first time in four days, I heard myself laughing for real. Then my mom caught my attention as she pointed out the dimmed stars above us. Although the clouds covered them after just a few seconds, they were totally beautiful.

It rained hard again that night, but I slept perfectly. No dreams. No much fears. Just pure belief that everything has finally passed by.

DAY 4 / August 10

It was a brand new day for me. The clouds were kinda dark but I know it’s time to clean up. The family became busy, as everybody else was. It was fun although it was tiring.

That morning, we also got our electricity back. Thanks to Mayaine (my constant shock absorber), SUN network’s connection was back. We got to use the internet. I got to talk to my boss. I got to talk to different people I was so damn worried about.

As I type this, the moon is shining on me from outside my window. I could see a lone star too. And I couldn’t help but feel thankful. Once again, God sends light during the darkest days of our lives. He never lets us go through everything alone. Remember, it’s never too dark. In life, the absence of light doesn’t mean darkness at all. It is an opportunity to see better things – things we don’t pay attention to when we’re blinded by artificial light.

I know that it was a traumatic and terrifying experience yet again; but I don’t want to dwell on the fear and depression that came along with it. But I think I’m thanking God more for the lessons learned. I realized a lot of things and I guess there’s no better time to start changing than now.