Of Being Next and Pandora's Box

Tomorrow, another one of my close friends will be getting married to another friend of ours. Theirs is an exciting story proving that love indeed conquers all. After separating ways, destiny had acted upon their lives and when they fell in love the second time, it is for eternity. Hence, the ceremonies tomorrow.

The bride and the groom are both in my group of friends for how many years; and in our clique, almost half were already married. Once these two people tie the knot tomorrow, it's official that ALL members of our group who we expect to settle down are indeed settled down already.

And I bet, one question is set to be asked tomorrow: WHO'S NEXT?

Frankly speaking, I bet we all have to wait a little longer to find out who's getting married next. Let's exclude the boys waiting for Vatican III, there are three girls left in the group, myself included. Unless Ate Millie decides to break away from our two-member singles' group, I am quite confident to say that no one's tying the knot anytime soon.

One friend told me that she feels it's gonna be me next. I wonder what made her think about that. I don't even have a boyfriend, let alone a suitor to entertain.

For the whole year of 2013, I have disregarded the thought of marriage. I refused to believe in it, and a part of me still doesn't up to now. But seeing how excited my friends are to exchange their 'I Do's' tomorrow, I feel this tiny bit of envy deep inside me. While I don't entertain the possibility since I don't want to expect, I can't help but wonder how it would feel to be in their position.

I don't know what's happening. Is it the trend to feel depressed if you're single for 2014? A lot of people on Facebook and Twitter tend to do that recently, I notice. Even in the KPOP industry, dating confirmations are being thrown to the public like a cent per piece.

I understand that I'm not beautiful and I'm not that person one can proudly present to the world as his partner. As they would always point out, I have a very repulsive personality. Easy to say, I am a living Pandora's box.

And it's sad to know that I have long forgotten how it feels to be wanted. Because no one wanted to try.

It's quite sad but it's okay. I don't want to change myself anymore for anyone anyway. For many years, I have mastered the art of turning all the bad vibes into positive ones, and disregarding the reality that would just hurt me big time. That talent would be put to great use this year again, I bet.

I'm blabbering so much. I think I just need to sleep. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment