Live Life to the Fullest

July 19...

I was browsing through Facebook to unwind. I noticed Ate Sol's status. She said Mary Christene Nunez has died. I don't know how. It's not like I can just ask right away, because we weren't really that close when we were in St. Jude... 

After a few minutes, Ate Rose sent me a message on Facebook informing me that Ma'am Garcia, our librarian in St. Jude during my time and a close friend of our family, has been in the ICU for a week now, lying there unconscious.

Two different incidents... which made me realize two different things.

First, life is short. 
Second, life is so short to be spent on bitterness.

It is not a secret that I hated St. Jude Academy. I hated the memories. I hated the people. I completely shun myself from everything that concerned the years I have stayed in that school because of some prejudiced teachers and students who had turned my teen life into hell.

But as I did that, I didn't notice that I have turned myself into a demon I've hated for so long. My world shrunk because I was condensing it. I forgot that the ten long and painful years I've spent in that school had still contributed to who I am right now.

There were so much pain during my stay in St. Jude Academy, and I've created an ocean of bitterness because I was stuck in those nightmares. I refused to accept the fact that despite all those heartaches, that school had given me at least some memories worth cherishing. 

In St. Jude Academy, I learned how to write, read, and do mathematics - three basic things I know I need to survive this judgmental world. There, I learned the Art of Debate which eventually paved way to me, representing UE Caloocan in a national debate competition in Baguio City. In this school, I discovered that I love writing - even though no one gave a damn and I was even accused of plagiarizing. In St. Jude, I realized that aside from writing, I can also dance and I am good at it. In St. Jude, I met my best friend who I love so much for sticking with me and my craziness for all these years.

And lastly (no pun intended)... In St. Jude, I experienced the worst that everything that happened in college became simple matters to me.

The bitterness I harbored against St. Jude Academy had eventually turned into a very uncontrollable one. I blamed everything to it, that sometimes, I wonder if I was just finding an excuse to justify the actions of an unbecoming person that I am. 

It sucks that I have to realize all these things given the circumstances. But somehow, I thank God for sending me His message before it's too late. Honestly, I still don't know what I have to do so I could move on; but I think I'm getting there...

I am getting there.

Ate Mary, rest in peace.
Ma'am Glo, get well soon.

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