You lost everything.
That's the thing about sacrifice.
Sometimes, when you think you lose something, you're really just passing it out to someone else.
I woke up to this text message sent by a friend. I don't know if it's really a quote, coz it appeared to me like it isn't. Nonetheless, yeah, after reading, I knew my whole day was ruined...
Have I really lost it?
For such a long time, I've been shielding myself from all forms of joy. I feared to take what is supposed to be mine, believing that I don't deserve it. I constantly blamed myself whenever something wrong happens. I always do sacrifices because I have always believed that I have no right over anything in this world...
I was so induced to treat myself like some form of trash. Talk about stupidity.
I've already been feeling bad about it, and things just got worse when I read the message. It might have come from a friend who means good but controlling my thoughts is just out of my capabilities. His message hit me right through my heart and it's melting me at the very moment... badly.
There really is something wrong with me.
People, don't waste your time. Life is such a beautiful thing to be taken for granted. Sacrifices are necessary, but bear in mind that your happiness - based on good things - should always be your optimum priority. It's not selfishness when you wish to have things you know you deserve. It's not selfishness when you try to give yourself every bit of attention, just as long as it's not done at the expense of others.
Don't wait until you lose everything, before you fully understand what you've been doing to yourself. You guys do not know how painful it is to see everything that should've been yours just pass you by because you let go of it, because you've lost it.
As of press time, I'm trying to figure out how to get everything back. I don't want to believe it's too late. I still want to try. As a person, I know I deserve the bests in life. I've spent three years in hell already, and now that I'm finding myself back again, I swear I won't go back there anymore.
I don't know how to start again. But one thing I want to convince myself with is the fact that although I lost a lot of things, I know I can always find replacements. Life brims with good things. It is impossible for a person to run out of reasons to be someone better.
... I just have to find those.