I was supposed to go to bed already when I began to contemplate on the past week. Nothing special really happened. My mood was practically down these past few days and only last night did I realize why I’m being like this.
It has been 13 days since I last smoked. Because of severe cough and never-ending colds, I had to take a break from puffing these death sticks. Now that I understand it, it’s definitely difficult when I suddenly stop. My mood gets unpredictable; my mind goes blank.
But you know, I think I’ll prefer it this way. Because I think I have to take advantage of this opportunity to complete shun my cigarette addiction.
My motivations? The good things about quitting on cigs.
- It gives my heart literal peace. The first phase of withdrawal naturally makes me restless but I think things will eventually get better. A few weeks to months of struggles would be worth it if I would give my heart a break from sudden palpitations and all threats. Yes to a healthy heart now! ^^
- It helps my skin improve. It was just five days since I stopped; but I think I can already see some slight changes on my skin. When I was smoking, I would feel like my skin’s so dry. Now it has gone back to being oily. HAHA. Two evil ends.
- It saves me money. With my responsibility towards my family and with my desire to go to wherever I want to go, I need to save money. And if I would keep that 10-peso-a-day budget for 5 sticks of Marlboro light, I would be able to save more or less 300 pesos a month! ^^
- It brings me back my self-esteem. Having read a lot of girly blogs, I was quite convinced that cigarette isn’t really a way of being cool. Sure it eases stress but if we think about it, everything about nicotine is a pigment of our endless reasoning – our desire to escape from the enclaves of being proven wrong with our beliefs.
- It frees my mind from guilt. In our house, my parents do not know that I smoke. Dad must have had this inkling already but my constant denial would always prevail. So stopping would free me from thinking that I am a disappointment to my parents.