There's something very important which I remembered last night. It was the 70/30 Principle which I think I have forgotten for a while, due to this whole ordeal of feeling desperately in love with someone. Funny how I always impart it to others yet I would be the first to forget it when it's greatly needed. It is very stupid of me, I know; but I think I'm beginning to re-understand it.
To those who don't know, the 70/30 Principle is the division of love you give to yourself and to your loved one. 70% should be yours and the other 30% shall be intended for others. This was taught to me by a really, really good friend and brother who I haven't met in a long time already. I know he's gonna be proud of me when he knew that among the many things he imparted with me, something this important is retained in my memory.
I know that my principle could raise eyebrows. Others will deem it selfish but I believe it's just the right thing. It is based on the big question: "If you don't love yourself, how can you ever love others?" I mean, what could we give if we don't have anything to share, right?
I want to borrow Sir Bo Sanchez' idea of a love tank. He said that unless our love tanks are filled first, we would certainly not be able to fill others'; because as how I see it, people could only share when they have enough for themselves.
No, that's not selfishness. I'm stating a fact here. And if you think that that 30% is too little, think again. That small percentage could actually equate to 70%, or even 100%! Then, the 70% which you are supposed to allot for yourself will, of course, mean more.
My friends, don't think that that's impossible; because that blood-pumping organ in your chest - despite being just the size of your fist - could actually give room to the whole world, if you just let it.
Like how Stephen Chbosky wrote in the Perks of Being a Wallflower had said, we are infinite. We, as human beings who are capable of handling emotions, can actually handle much, much more than what we think we can; and provide others with so much. It's just a matter of how we do it.
So going back to the real topic, I found it relieving that I got reminded of this principle. For a moment, I've lost myself on the thought of romance. I was just so eager to have the love of my life that I forgot that even to him, the most important thing is that I learn to love myself first.
This is indeed an important thing to realize and I wish everybody who are in the same position as I am now would have this thought imbued in their hearts. Remember, if we don't love ourselves first before we love others, our love will be demanding. We would require our loved one to compensate so our love tanks would be filled and we would feel complete. In the end, we'll just be burdens to them; and that's not how love goes exactly.
Love is selflessness and that's the main point of the 70/30 principle; and I'm glad that I remembered that. I realized that all these dramas should go now. I've had enough already and it's about time that I pay attention to myself more again.
So does this mean I'm letting go? Perhaps, I am. Or maybe I'm just moving on? I really don't know yet. I haven't decided. I can't decide. I'm nowhere near ready; but I'm this close (-) to giving up. Nonetheless, yes, I have to figure out first what to do with my own love tank and fill it with so much love so that I would not demand for anything back; and could just concentrate on providing unconditional love to people who deserve it.
And if fate allows, I'm gonna go back to him as soon as my love tank gets filled and share with him everything I can - without expecting anything in return, without making him feel obliged that he should reciprocate.
Someday, I'll be able to make him feel what true love is. But for the mean time, it's the 70/30 Principle first. It has to be me, first.